The Clover Nook

The holidays are often described as the most joyful time of year, yet for many, they carry a heavier truth. Nearly nine out of ten adults report stress during the season, and more than a third say their stress levels rise sharply. For those coping with the loss of a loved one, this stress is often intertwined with grief. The empty chair at the table, the missing voice in a chorus of laughter, or the absence of a cherished tradition can turn celebration into sorrow. What is marketed as a season of joy can, for some, become a season of loneliness and depression.

Grief often floods both mind and body, leaving us overwhelmed and exhausted. When the nervous system is dysregulated, it’s harder to think clearly, connect with others, or engage in meaningful rituals. A regulated body signals safety to the brain, lowering stress hormones and opening space for gratitude, memory, and connection. Once the body feels anchored, the mind can soften, and the heart can begin to embrace both sorrow and joy.

This is why nervous system regulation is the doorway – it steadies you, lighting a path through the darkness, so that then you can honor your loved one with clarity, presence, and love. From this grounded place, acts of remembrance—writing letters, sharing stories, practicing kindness, or leaning into faith—become not just rituals of grief, but rituals of growth and joy.

Below we will share some tools to regulate the system and then some calming and joyful ways to honor your loved one. 

Coping with Holiday Grief: How to Calm Your Body and Honor Loved Ones with Joy

Regulating the Nervous System

Meditation
Meditation is an effective way to calm the mind and body. Sitting quietly and focusing on your breath can stop the swirl of painful thoughts. If you’re new to meditation, begin with just 1–3 minutes. Practiced regularly, meditation is scientifically proven to rewire the brain and regulate the nervous system.

Breathwork
Breathwork is an easier practice to do rather in a private or public area. It engages the vagus nerve—a pathway between the heart and brain—helping shift the body from stress to calm. Place your hand on your heart (where the heartbreak, anxiety and stress are held) and then on your stomach (where your emotions and over 500 million neurons sit in your gut) – this is calming for the parasympathetic nervous system. Then try this cycle 5–6 times: inhale deeply through the nose for 4 counts, hold for 2, then exhale slowly for 6 counts as if fogging up a mirror. This signals safety to the body, reduces stress hormones, and improves emotional regulation.

Warm Bath or Shower
Warm water activates the parasympathetic nervous system, slowing heart rate, lowering blood pressure, and reducing stress hormones. It also grounds awareness in the present moment. As the body cools afterward, it triggers natural relaxation, often leading to better sleep.

Gentle Movement
Stretching, yoga, or even a short walk can shift the body out of “fight or flight” mode and into a “rest and digest” state. Rhythmic movement reassures the body it is safe and helps regulate the nervous system.

Sensory Resets
Warm tea, soothing music (such as classical or alpha wave tracks), or aromatherapy can shift the body’s state from stress to calm. These sensory practices are interpreted by the brain as soothing, helping the nervous system rest.

Once the nervous system is calmed, the mind can find clarity. Gratitude becomes more accessible, even when grief feels heavy. From this place, you can honor your loved one by caring for yourself and others through acts of remembrance and kindness.

Honoring with Joy in your Heart

Write a Letter
Writing a letter to your loved one allows you to share memories and emotions. Tears may come, but crying can be healing—releasing stress hormones and restoring emotional balance. “Good tears” even release oxytocin and endorphins, soothing the mind and body. Keep the letter in a journal, tuck it in a special place, or burn it as a symbolic release. Writing reframes grief into a narrative of love and growth, strengthening your ability to cope.

Acts of Kindness
Transforming memory into action is one of the most powerful ways to honor a loved one. By carrying forward their values, love, and kindness, you keep their presence alive in the world. Acts of kindness release oxytocin—sometimes called the “helper’s high”—and lower cortisol, calming the nervous system. Whether big or small, kindness brings purpose and joy.

Spiritual Community and Faith
Faith and community provide belonging and reduce loneliness. Spiritual practices offer a bigger picture, helping you see loss as part of a journey rather than an end. Belief in eternal connection softens grief, while rituals like prayer, meditation, or lighting candles provide structure and release. Gratitude and thankfulness shift focus toward joy, balancing sorrow with hope.

Sharing Night
Set aside an evening—alone or with others—to honor your loved one. Cook their favorite dish, share stories, watch a movie they enjoyed, play a game, or create a craft in their honor. Rituals of remembrance soothe sadness while joyful activities lift mood. Music, laughter, and gratitude stimulate positive emotions, strengthen resilience, and ease loneliness.

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Grief during the holidays, whether tender or heavy, doesn’t have to eclipse joy. By calming the nervous system, practicing rituals of remembrance, and leaning into kindness and community, you create space for both sorrow and celebration. Each breath, each act of service, each shared story becomes a way of honoring your loved one while nurturing your own resilience.

The holidays may never feel the same, but they can still hold meaning. When you choose to remember with love, serve with kindness, and celebrate with gratitude, you keep joy alive in your heart—and carry your loved one’s spirit forward into the season of light.

Most importantly, your loved ones would want you to keep joy in your heart, especially during the holidays. Stay connected, lean on support, and remember you are not alone. Many share and understand grief, even when each story is unique. The best band-aid for the heart during the holidays is to find a small spark(s) of joy.

Please feel free to share your stories, your grief, and the ways you honor your loved ones. In doing so, you help connect others to find comfort and inspiration to stay positive during this difficult season.

Cheers to a happier and healthier version of you.
Much love — The Clover Nook