The Clover Nook

There is nothing like a day devoted to love — whether loving yourself or sharing connection with someone special — to gently navigate the still-taboo subject of orgasms. For both men and women, orgasms go far beyond pleasure; they support brain health and overall well-being.

Women and men are both capable of experiencing multiple orgasms (for men, this can occur prior to ejaculation). From a biological standpoint, orgasm is one of the most efficient ways the body resets the brain and nervous system. And yet, we rarely talk about it as a legitimate health behavior — especially not in a grounded, science-based way.

So let’s change that.

Orgasms Are a Brain Event First

Before anything happens in the body, orgasm begins in the brain.

During orgasm, the brain releases a powerful cocktail of chemicals — dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, and prolactin. These neurochemicals regulate mood, reduce stress, improve sleep, and support emotional resilience.

A poetic excuse for more orgasms? Perhaps.
But it’s also neuroscience.

In simple terms, orgasm shifts the nervous system out of fight-or-flight and into rest-and-repair.

That’s why people often feel calmer, clearer, and more connected afterward. It’s also why orgasm can:

• Lower stress hormones like cortisol
  
• Improve sleep quality
  
• Reduce pain sensitivity
  
• Support emotional regulation
  

Think of it less as a “peak experience” and more as a reset button for the brain

Why Nervous System Safety Matters More Than Performance (for men and women)

Here’s something we don’t talk about enough: pleasure doesn’t come from trying harder — it comes from feeling safe.

When the nervous system is under stress — whether from work, diet culture, emotional pressure, or performance anxiety — the body doesn’t open for pleasure. It braces. And bracing dulls sensation, often limiting or delaying orgasm altogether.

Orgasms happen most naturally when the nervous system feels regulated, present, and unthreatened. This applies to everyone, regardless of gender.

Many women are already familiar with how stress shuts down pleasure; they feel it directly in their bodies.

Men, on the other hand, are often taught to override their bodies instead of listening to them. To push forward instead of slow down. Which makes this next point especially important.

For Men: Orgasm and Ejaculation Are Not the Same 

Here is a fact that surprises most men: 

Orgasm and ejaculation are separate physiological processes, controlled by different neurological pathways. Which means men are biologically capable of experiencing multiple orgasms without ejaculation – when the nervous system stays regulated.

This isn’t a mystical power. It’s not about willpower. And it’s definitely not about “lasting longer.”

It’s about awareness. It’s about letting go of control and creating a deeper connection. 

Most men are taught to push arousal forward as quickly as possible. Faster. Stronger. More intense. That approach activates stress pathways in the brain, which automatically trigger ejaculation.

However when a man learns to:

• Lower stress hormones like cortisol
  
• Improve sleep quality
  
• Reduce pain sensitivity
  
• Support emotional regulation
  

The experience changes entirely. Multiple orgasms aren’t achieved through tightening, clenching, or “holding back.” In fact, chronic tension is the biggest blocker. What allows this experience is nervous system regulation and the ability to stay relaxed and aware even as sensation builds.

Men who develop this skill often report:

• Slow down internal pacing
  
• Stay present with sensation instead of chasing the finish
  
• Breathe and soften rather than tense
  
• Feel instead of force
  

For many, it’s the first time they realize how disconnected they’ve been from their internal cues. Tapping into that energy with your partner will be an “out of this world experience”. 

For Women: Whole-Brain and Whole-Body

Women are biologically capable of moving from one orgasmic wave to another without the same required recovery window typically associated with ejaculation in men — especially when the nervous system feels safe enough to fully let go and “be free”!

Brain imaging research shows that during orgasm, women exhibit widespread brain activation across areas involved in emotion, memory, and sensory integration. Female orgasm is not just genital — it’s a whole-brain experience, which may explain why many women describe it as deeply emotional or full-body. (click to see the video showing what the female brain looks like while having an orgasm – WOW!)

Summing up for both genders – 

The physical health of orgasm increases circulation, engages the pelvic floor, and temporarily raises pain tolerance due to endorphin release. For women, increased pelvic blood flow may support tissue health and lubrication, particularly as hormones fluctuate with age. For men, regular orgasmic release has been associated in population studies with prostate health and stress reduction. For both sexes, healthy sexual expression — whether solo or partnered — can contribute to improved sleep, reduced cortisol levels, and a greater sense of emotional connection and well-being.

Like dieting fails when it ignores brain biology, sexual health struggles often arise when we override the nervous system instead of supporting it. You can’t force pleasure, discipline your way into regulation, and your way into sensation. Health, sexual or otherwise, comes from supporting the systems that create safety with adequate nourishment, stress reduction, emotional awareness, rest, and repetition over willpower – when those are in place, pleasure becomes accessible instead of effortful.

Orgasms aren’t a goal to achieve or a performance to perfect – they are a biological response to presence, connection, and nervous system safety. Whether you’re partnered or solo, experienced or curious, this Valentine’s Day can be an invitation to listen to your body instead of pushing it – so enjoy and “stay healthy”!

Cheers to a happier and healthier version of you!